Posted by: BibleScienceGuy | October 2, 2019

Kepler’s Water Guns

(3 Minute Read)

Woof! Woof!
This is Kepler, Master’s Jack Russell terrier, writing another article for Master’s Bible-Science Guy Blog.

I have some shocking news!

Master got a water gun to discipline me and Henry. At the campground, when we start barking, he shoots us. I hate it.

Sometimes I just have to bark. Squirrels, chipmunks, fluffy dogs, black dogs, kids, remote-control cars, bicycles, skateboards, golf carts, people walking up to our campfire — all require loud and insistent barking to alert Master and Missus. It’s my job.

This is a picture of Master’s water gun. Master did not just get a normal water pistol. He got a pump-action assault rifle water gun. He can hit me from 20 feet away. There’s nothing I can do to stop it. I think this must be what it’s like to get hit with a water cannon.

Henry tries to hide under the picnic table when he sees Master pick up his pump-action assault rifle water gun, but Master always gets him.

Master’s aim is phenomenal. He hits me right square in the face. The stream of water gets in my eyes, mouth, and worst of all in my nose. I have to lick my fur all over to get the water off.

Just the sight of the super soaker water gun scares me. I know I have to be quiet when I see Master pick up his pump-action assault rifle water gun. I obey Master’s “Quiet” and “No Bark” commands much better when he has his pump-action assault rifle water gun at hand. Even Missus shoots me to make me be quiet.

Another horrible thing is that Master has TWO pump-action assault rifle water guns. Here is a picture of the second pump-action assault rifle water gun. It is identical to the first except for color.

Why does he need two of them, I wondered. He said that in case one breaks, he wants to have a backup. He is big on backups, being a belt-and-suspenders kind of guy. If his belt breaks, the suspenders prevent embarrassment. I can’t even count the number of compasses he carries around with him — just to be sure he always has a working one available.

Recently a camper we met complained to us about how he can’t keep his dog from barking, so Master explained his solution. The camper loved it and said, “Oh, I have a 3-D printer. Let me scan your water gun, and I’ll use my 3-D printer to print a water gun for both of us.”

This absolutely horrified me. We don’t need three pump-action assault rifle water guns sitting around. But Master replied, “Thanks anyway, but I have a Canon printer.” Then they both laughed. I didn’t understand at first, but then it worried me even more.

When I asked Master why he needed to discipline us for barking, he said it was for our own good. He doesn’t want us to get kicked out of a campground for nuisance barking, which is against state park regulations. Master said he disciplines us just as fathers discipline their sons and God disciplines His children.
My son, do not despise the discipline of the LORD nor be weary of His reproof. For whom the LORD loves He reproves, even as a father the son in whom he delights.
(Proverbs 3:11-12)

Behold, how happy is the man whom God reproves,
So do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.
(Job 5:17)

So that’s how things look from the Dog House!

Don’t forget to vote for me — I’m running for President (click Kepler for President).
Vote Kepler for President in 2020.
Alere Flammam Veritatis

Till next time, this is Kepler signing off. Woof! Woof!

Questions to Ponder

1. How do you respond to divine discipline — with rebellion or acceptance, with complaints or thanks?
2. Can you think of something in your life that you’ve viewed as annoying or troublesome — that might actually be God’s loving discipline?

Share your thoughts on these questions in the comments below. It could encourage or help another reader.

For Christ and His Kingdom. Soli Deo Gloria.

This is the 39th article in a series of blog posts on a precocious Jack Russell terrier named Kepler. Numbers 1-8 are by Kepler’s master, the BibleScienceGuy. Numbers 9-39 are by Kepler himself.
Read the prequels:
1. Why I Named Our Puppy “Kepler”
2. Kepler’s Kind
3. Kepler’s Lopsided Trade
4. Kepler’s Amazing Nose
5. Kepler’s Business Card
6. Kepler & the Psycho Squirrel
(with video)
7. Taunting Kepler
8. Adam and Puppies

The following posts are by Kepler:
9. Who Taught Kepler?
10. Kepler Gets a Buddy
(with video)
11. Kepler Chases a Squirrel (with video)
12. Kepler’s Complaint
13. Kepler’s To-Do List
14. Kepler and the Football Weekend
15. Kepler’s Favorite Store
16. Kepler at a Truck Stop
17. Kepler & Henry Catch a Squirrel
18. Kepler Finds Killdeer Eggs
19. Kepler Finds Robin Eggs
20. Kepler Lives to Tell the Tale
21. Kepler, Bears, & Raccoons
22. Kepler Mentors Henry
23. Kepler Gets a Bear
24. Kepler Finds Strange Eggs
25. Kepler Finds Duck Eggs
26. Kepler Gives Thanks
27. Kepler’s Newest Enemy
28. Kepler Loves Bulldogs
29. Kepler Ponders Snow
30. Kepler Wants to Move to Australia
31. Kepler’s Dating Profile
32. Kepler Meets Skunk
33. Kepler Wants to Be Good
34. Kepler on Guard
35. Kepler Chews On Grammar
36. Kepler for President
37. Kepler for President: Grins & Growls #1
38. Kepler for President: Grins & Growls #2

Read the sequel:
40. Kepler Remembers Henry

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©William T. Pelletier, Ph.D.
“contending earnestly for the faith”
“destroying speculations against the knowledge of God”
“for the defense of the gospel”
(Jude 1:3; 2 Cor 10:5; Phil 1:16)
Wednesday October 2, 2019 A.D.

But now ask the beasts, and let them teach you;
And the birds of the heavens, and let them tell you.
Or speak to the earth, and let it teach you;
And let the fish of the sea declare to you.
Who among all these does not know
That the hand of the LORD has done this,
In whose hand is the life of every living thing,
And the breath of all mankind?
(Job 12:7-10)

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