Kepler Versus the Squirrel

(4 Minute Read. 23Jun2021)

Looking up at Master
My prize catch is at my feet.

Woof! Woof!
This is Kepler, Master’s Jack Russell terrier, writing another article for Master’s Bible-Science Guy Blog.

I am so excited and proud of what I did recently. I can hardly wait to tell about it. But first I have to relate the events leading up to my amazing feat in order to properly set the stage.

For our first camping trip this year, Master had to unplug our camper from the house electricity. When he opened the door to the camper’s electrical bin to unplug, he found a gray stocking cap that Missus had put out on the patio last fall to air.

Then, all of a sudden, a very large squirrel rushed out of the bin, running across the back of Master’s hand as he unplugged.

That explained the strange location of the stocking cap. Apparently the squirrel had confiscated it for bedding.

Instantly I took off after the squirrel. But I’m not allowed to leave the yard, and I was immediately pulled up short by my tether. I couldn’t reach the squirrel.

Master closed up the electrical bin and finished getting ready to go camping. I was worried. Would Master and Missus forget me and leave me tethered to a tree in our backyard? I always worry about this because I do not want to miss any camping trips. So I diligently barked till they loaded me in. Then we took off for the campground leaving the pesky squirrel behind.

When we got to the campground and started to plug in, Master and Missus could hardly believe what they saw. In the back of the bin where the electrical cable is stored was a huge mass of nesting material. Missus started pulling the squirrel nest out of the bin. Here is a picture of what she pulled out on an opened sheet of newspaper with a family-size 12-ounce raisin box for scale.

Suddenly Missus squealed,
“There’s another squirrel still in here! I see two beady eyes!”

Master and Missus and two park rangers worked and worked with long sticks trying to get the squirrel out of the bin through the door in the side. But it would not come out.

I knew how to get Mr. Squirrel out of the bin, and I knew how to do it quickly without all the fooling around with sticks. But Master would not let me help despite my urgent pleas.

Finally one of the rangers got some hand sanitizer from his truck and sprayed it in the bin. That persuaded Mr. Squirrel to come halfway out of the bin. Master then pulled him out onto the ground with a stick.

It was a juvenile squirrel, and he did not want to move. I knew how to make him move, but again Master did not want my help.

One of the rangers said it was a red squirrel. He said he hates them because they constantly chew on his house.

Now here is something almost unbelievable, but it really happened. The other ranger gently petted the little squirrel (see picture). Repeatedly! I was astonished! I thought to myself, “Squirrels are not for petting. They are for chasing and dispatching.”

Missus scooped up Mr. Squirrel in a pitcher. Then she carried him about 100 yards away and released him. Again, this was contrary to what I would have advised. What is to keep him from returning?

Next Master pulled the electrical cable out of the bin. He discovered two places where the squirrels had substantially chewed the rubber insulation. Master wrapped the chewed places with two layers of black electrical tape. We plugged in and everything worked.

It really annoyed me that the squirrels chewed the rubber insulation. I am just a dog, but I have been taught what is legal to chew on and what is not. Any kind of cord or rope or cable is a big NO-NO. Those squirrels were intruders — and it wasn’t even their food. Those rubber cables smell terrible anyway!

Now I have reached the tremendously exciting part that I wanted to tell about!
Woof! Woof!

The very next day, while I was tethered outside on a long line, that little squirrel came back to our campsite. I was excited. I wanted to get him for what he and his mama had done to our electrical cable. As he came closer, I suddenly shot toward him, pounced, and got him!

That little furry rat-like thing never knew what hit him. Pounce, jerk, snap! It’s over in less than a second. I don’t make the rodents I catch suffer, and I don’t make a mess.

I was super excited all day after my conquest! I felt so alive! And extra-energized! Master says that extra-energized is my default setting, but all that day I was super-extra-energized after my triumph. Master and Missus both praised me repeatedly, but eventually Master said, “Enough is enough,” and he made me settle down.

All I know is — it was a tremendous feeling. Missus reads tee-shirt slogans to me sometimes, and right now I feel just like this one: “Life is good.” Doing what the Great Creator designed me to do feels super.

Master measured my little squirrel after I killed him. From the tip of its nose to its rear was 6 inches, plus a 5-inch tail. Here is a picture of him.

Master wondered if it was the same squirrel that had come out of our electrical bin. But I knew by its smell that it was the same one.

Master and Missus did not take my dead squirrel away immediately. They let me play with it for a while. They watched while I buried it, dug it up, and reburied it multiple times.

I dig and hide pretty well, but my amazing nose always helps me find the buried item later no matter where it is.

The next day after our post-jentacular walk, I rushed over to where I had last buried Mr. Squirrel. He was gone!!!

I checked all my burial spots, but he was nowhere to be found. Did a coyote find and eat him? But there were no bones or fur scattered around. Did an owl or hawk snatch him? Did somebody steal him?

He could not have revived and run off. I knew I had killed him. I have killed many squirrels and chipmunks. I know when they are dead. So what happened to him? Where did he go? It is a mystery that I have not been able to solve.

I will just have to catch myself another squirrel or chipmunk. There are way too many of them at this campground anyway. No telling what else of Master’s equipment they will chew unless I thin the herd.

So that’s how things look from the Kepler Dog House!

Till next time, this is Kepler signing off. Woof! Woof!

Questions to Ponder

1. Have you ever caught a squirrel? How hard would it be for you to do that?
2. What do you do very well that glorifies your Creator?

Share your thoughts on these questions in the comments below. It could encourage or help another reader.

For Christ and His Kingdom. Soli Deo Gloria. Alere Flammam Veritatis.

This is the 46th article in a series of blog posts on a precocious Jack Russell terrier named Kepler. Numbers 1-8 are by Kepler’s master, the BibleScienceGuy. Numbers 9-46 are by Kepler himself.
Read the prequels:
1. Why I Named Our Puppy “Kepler”
2. Kepler’s Kind
3. Kepler’s Lopsided Trade
4. Kepler’s Amazing Nose
5. Kepler’s Business Card
6. Kepler & the Psycho Squirrel (with video)
7. Taunting Kepler
8. Adam and Puppies

The following posts are by Kepler:
9. Who Taught Kepler?
10. Kepler Gets a Buddy (with video)
11. Kepler Chases a Squirrel (with video)
12. Kepler’s Complaint
13. Kepler’s To-Do List
14. Kepler and the Football Weekend
15. Kepler’s Favorite Store
16. Kepler at a Truck Stop
17. Kepler & Henry Catch a Squirrel
18. Kepler Finds Killdeer Eggs
19. Kepler Finds Robin Eggs
20. Kepler Lives to Tell the Tale
21. Kepler, Bears, & Raccoons
22. Kepler Mentors Henry
23. Kepler Gets a Bear
24. Kepler Finds Strange Eggs
25. Kepler Finds Duck Eggs
26. Kepler Gives Thanks
27. Kepler’s Newest Enemy
28. Kepler Loves Bulldogs
29. Kepler Ponders Snow
30. Kepler Wants to Move to Australia
31. Kepler’s Dating Profile
32. Kepler Meets Skunk
33. Kepler Wants to Be Good
34. Kepler on Guard
35. Kepler Chews On Grammar
36. Kepler for President
37. Kepler for President: Grins & Growls #1
38. Kepler for President: Grins & Growls #2
39. Kepler’s Water Guns
40. Kepler Remembers Henry (with video)
41. Kepler Gives a Virus Briefing
42. Kepler’s Campaign Advice
43. Kepler Ponders Senescence
44. Kepler’s AK-47
45. Kepler Talks Turkey

Read the sequel:
47. Kepler Hates This Word

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©William T. Pelletier, Ph.D.
“contending earnestly for the faith”
“destroying speculations against the knowledge of God”
“for the defense of the gospel”
(Jude 1:3; 2 Cor 10:5; Phil 1:16)
Wednesday June 23, 2021 A.D.

But now ask the beasts, and let them teach you;
And the birds of the heavens, and let them tell you.
Or speak to the earth, and let it teach you;
And let the fish of the sea declare to you.
Who among all these does not know
That the hand of the LORD has done this,
In whose hand is the life of every living thing,
And the breath of all mankind? (Job 12:7-10)

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