Kepler’s Complaint

(6 Minute Read)

Kepler

Woof! Woof! This is Kepler again, Master’s Jack Russell terrier. I’m writing another article for Master’s blog.

Master is the BibleScienceGuy, and he said I could write an article to explain my complaint to his readers. Maybe you all can intercede for me and help Master see my point of view.

My new buddy Henry whom we adopted last Christmas doesn’t feel as strongly about the situation as I do. He’s just glad to have a warm place to sleep, two good squares a day, and treats.

My basic complaint is that Master and Missus do not treat me as an equal member of the family. Let me flood you with examples of how Master and Missus treat me differently.

My Top Ten Complaints

1. Yesterday Missus gave Master a home-baked butterscotch chip cookie treat. She did not make him Sit or Lie Down or Wait or Shake Hands in order to get the cookie. She just gave it to him! Later she gave him a plateful of treat cookies. That never happens with me. I have to work for every little treat morsel, one at a time.

Henry & I wait for Master’s OK to go outside

2. When it’s time to go outside we have to Sit and Wait while Master attaches leashes or tethers to our collars. Then with the door open and smelling all the new outdoor smells, we have to Wait till Master gives the Okay.

But Master does not make Missus Wait at the open door. When they go somewhere, he lets her walk right out the door without doing a Wait. And he doesn’t even put a leash on her! All he does is take her hand. Then when she comes home, she just walks in! She doesn’t have to Wait, or jump up and down at the closed door like I do.

I have to just Sit and Wait far too much. What’s the point? I don’t get anything done with a Sit and Wait. I don’t ever see Master make Missus Sit and Wait. Why does he make me do it?

3. When it’s time to eat, Master makes me Sit in my Spot and Wait while he fixes my food. Then I have to Wait with the aroma from my bowl filling my nose until Master thanks God for my food. Even before the prayer, sometimes I have to Wait for 5 minutes while he fiddles around. Then as soon as he says “Amen!” I leap for my bowl and gobble it down.

But Missus does not make Master Sit in his Spot while she fixes his food. She lets him walk around and do things. And when she gives it to him, she lets him pray and eat right away. She doesn’t make him Wait like I have to.

Master makes me eat on the floor. I want to eat on the table in order to help myself to all Missus’ savory dishes as Master does.

Missus keeps lots of good stuff in the frig. If Master would permit me, I could feed myself and Henry from the frig, and he wouldn’t have to fix our meals. Master and Missus get in the frig whenever they want — why can’t I?

The Creator made each creature,
from amoeba to man, for its own
place and purpose in Creation.

4. I lo-o-o-ve Kleenex, napkins, and tissues — clean or used. Master and Missus always punish me when I get one. They put me on my back, grip me with claw hands, scold me, and exile me to my crate with a blanket covering it. I hate the punishment! But when I see a tissue or napkin, I think to myself, “I’ll take the punishment,” and I grab it.

It’s not fair to punish me, because I see Master and Missus get a napkin or Kleenex whenever they want. Of course they don’t stuff it into their mouth, chew it up, and swallow it. Mmmm … they don’t know what they’re missing.

5. I don’t like it that Master and Missus ignore my whines, cries, and howls. Sometimes when camping, they leave me in my crate inside the camper while they do things without me. I do my best to let them know I want to be with them by crying, whining, and howling. Other times they leave me tethered outside when they are inside. I want to be inside with them and urgently let them know. Then when I’m inside, I want to go back outside. I want them to let me in and out all day long. My motto is “What’s next?”

I like the couch—even with a cover on it!

6. Missus does not allow me to get on the couch unless invited. I have to Sit and Wait and Ask. But Master just Sits down whenever he wants! He never even asks Missus like I have to do.

Actually I have thought about this one, and I think I know the reason. Master does not jump onto the couch with his feet like I do. But my paws are clean. I always lick them clean after I come in the house.

Master makes me sleep on the floor. I want to sleep in his bed. He lets Missus sleep in the bed with him — why not me?

7. When Master takes me for a walk, he makes me walk calmly by his side. Pulling on the leash to investigate or smell something is a No-No. Last weekend’s campground was overrun with squirrels. I was literally quivering with urgency to chase them and bite their sassy necks. But Master would not let me bark at them or chase them. Doesn’t Master know that God made me to bark at squirrels and chase them? But Master said my walks with him are not the time for this.

But Master lets Missus do whatever she wants on our walks. She doesn’t have to walk quietly by his side without checking things out. She gets to smell the flowers, check the mailbox, comment on architectures and landscaping.

I love to go into stores like PetSmart to meet dogs and smell things. Master makes me walk right at his heel. But he lets Missus wander around the store by herself. Master walks too slowly — I want to explore the store, meet dogs and people, and smell food by myself without having to drag him along with me.

Henry & I share the doll bed

8. Missus treats me like a baby, even though I’m two years old. She found an old doll bed and thought it would keep Henry and me off the cold ground around the campfire. She stuffed both of us in it at once and prattled on about how cute it was. I didn’t see anything cute about it, but I realized in 3 seconds that treats come for staying in the bed. Eventually we settled on Henry lying in the doll bed and me in Missus’ lap.

9. Can someone please tell Master that God made dogs to bark? I get so tired of hearing the Quiet and No Bark commands. Master gives them to Henry and me many times every day! He says we need to learn self-control! But I never hear him give the Quiet or No Bark command to Missus! And sometimes she talks and laughs a lot! Shouldn’t she have to learn self-control? But Master seems to like it.

I want to bark at dogs and people passing by our campsite. I hear Missus call out greetings to passing campers. Why can’t I bark to passing dogs and greet them?

Master thinks I bark too much. But I’m going to do it anyway.

10. Master and Missus always send me outside to do my business, even in the snow, rain, wind, and cold! But they get to do their business in the warm, dry house. Not fair!

Thus my basic complaint is that Master and Missus do not treat me as an equal member of the family. Don’t misunderstand me — I don’t want to leave Master and Missus. I just want things to be equitable. They treat me like a dog! Yeah, yeah, I know. But still…

Kepler

Master’s Answer

I have explained my complaints to Master, but he just tells me,
“You’re a dog, not a boy. Deal with it.”
I do not smell any compassion in him or willingness to negotiate on this.

Master said the bumper stickers that I see saying “Dogs Are People Too!” are wrong.

I have even heard people say (Out Loud in public!!!), “Cats are people too.” Now I know for absolute certain that cats are not people. No way!!! But I kind of like the “Dogs” bumper sticker!

Master said I shouldn’t build my worldview on bumper sticker philosophies. He said I should build my worldview on what the Creator says is true: the Bible.

Despite the bumper sticker claim, Master said, “Dogs are not people.” He said only people are created in God’s image and dogs are not, so the two are totally different.

Master says the Creator made each creature, from amoeba to man, for its own place and purpose in Creation. He says my place is to be a dog, even though I am a very smart dog. He says I bring glory to my Creator just by being a dog and exercising my capabilities to serve my Master and Missus as best I can — because this is what my Creator created me to be and to do. Master says the Creator is the Big Boss and what He says and ordains is final.

Master says that the Creator gave Master the right and responsibility through Master’s father Adam to rule over me, which includes making me Sit and Wait, even when I want to run and jump.
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:26-28 NASB)

Master showed me the above verse which he called the “Dominion Mandate.” I barked, “I don’t like that.” Master said that was because his father Adam sinned and the Creator cursed all of creation as reported in Genesis 3:14-19. The Apostle Paul describes it this way:
For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. (Romans 8:20-22 NASB)

Don’t build your worldview on bumper
sticker philosophies. Build it on what
the Creator says is true: the Bible.

Master says the reason I sometimes resist his orders and choose my own way is due to his father Adam. Master says my first father, the first dog, felt the same way. After the curse, he sometimes didn’t like to do what Adam told him to do either.

I asked Master if he knew the name of Adam’s Jack Russell terrier. He said Adam did not have a Jack Russell. I was very surprised, because Jack Russell terriers are the best dogs, and I figured the Creator would have started Adam with the best dog.

I asked Master what breed of dog Adam had. He said the Creator made for Adam both the father and the mother of all dogs. He said those original dogs were Kinardlies. That’s because you can hardly tell what type of dog they were. I had to chortle over that one. Jack Russell terriers have always liked puns.

Master makes me sleep on the floor!

I wish I had been in the Garden of Eden with Adam. I would have barked at that wicked Serpent and kept him away from Eve. I am so quick that if the Serpent got too close to Eve, I would be chomping on him faster than the light going off when you flip the switch. I wonder what Adam’s Kinardly was doing when the Serpent got to Eve…probably sleeping!

Master laughed and said he appreciated my good intentions, but the Creator’s plan of Creation, Sin, and Salvation had all been ordained before the foundation of the world, and nothing I could have done would have altered it. Nevertheless, I would have liked to try to help Adam and Eve.

Okay. I’m done. I need to complete today’s To-Do List by checking the basement again for mice and squirrels. Two months ago I helped trap a squirrel in the basement, so now everyday I check the basement five times hoping to find another. It’s part of my daily To-Do List.

Till next time, Woof! Woof!

Questions to Ponder

1. Do you think dogs should be treated like people? Why or why not?
2. Every creature glorifies its Creator. How do your pets glorify the Creator?

Share your thoughts on these questions in the comments below. It could encourage or help another reader.

Soli Deo Gloria.

This is the twelfth article in a series of blog posts on our Jack Russell terrier Kepler.
Read the prequels:
1. Why I Named Our Puppy “Kepler”
2. Kepler’s Kind
3. Kepler’s Lopsided Trade
4. Kepler’s Amazing Nose
5. Kepler’s Business Card
6. Kepler & the Psycho Squirrel (with video)
7. Taunting Kepler
8. Adam and Puppies
9. Who Taught Kepler?
10. Kepler Gets a Buddy (with video)
11. Kepler Chases a Squirrel

Read the sequel:
13. Kepler’s To-Do List

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©William T. Pelletier, Ph.D.
“contending earnestly for the faith”
“destroying speculations against the knowledge of God”
“for the defense of the gospel”
(Jude 1:3; 2 Cor 10:5; Phil 1:16)
Wednesday May 11, 2016 A.D.

But now ask the beasts, and let them teach you;
And the birds of the heavens, and let them tell you.
Or speak to the earth, and let it teach you;
And let the fish of the sea declare to you.
Who among all these does not know
That the hand of the LORD has done this,
In whose hand is the life of every living thing,
And the breath of all mankind? (Job 12:7-10)